elegantkisser's Blog

 

It’s not an easy thing to do but with grace, goodness and beautiful aplomb, Elizabeth Edwards softly said goodbye Monday afternoon. Little did she know her words would bring tears to thousands … no, millions … who have watched her triumphantly vanquish each and every demon that has confronted her in an all too-public way.

Elizabeth, from her home in North Carolina, revealed yesterday her cancer, which was first diagnosed in 2004, is now in its final and fatal stages. The shallow among us will immediately cry, “Aha, there’s a demon that got her” but, no, if you’ll give me but a moment, I will share how my heart and my soul assures me this beautiful woman has just slain that dragon too.

Elizabeth is indeed beautiful. We first saw her charm, her poise and her smile at the side of her handsome husband, then a young senator from North Carolina who had been a remarkable attorney. In the all-too-plastic political realm, it was her we trusted because one time shortly after her son Wade was killed in a car accident at age 16, she was in a grocery store and the mere sight of some Cherry Coke – Wade’s favorite – caused her to weep uncontrollably.

Yes, she’s real. We’ve loved Elizabeth from the start and when the breast cancer popped up on the very same day John Kerry and her husband conceded the 2004 presidential race to the Bush camp, it was easy to believe that her chances were golden; the survival rate with early detection is now phenomenal.

But the political wrangle is hardly as successful. John, a Democratic aspirant for the White House in 2008, soon fell prey to a far more vicious disease that is every bit as lethal to men of power. At first he denied he’d had an affair, with Elizabeth standing faithful at his side, but then things began to brutally unravel and let’s just say when he finally admitted the mistress’s baby was his this January, she had already filed for divorce.

Don’t you see, this daughter of a Navy pilot had proven to be bigger than her child’s death, the political losses, and her husband’s infidelity. Through her words and a magnificent book, she had shared how we too can rise above just about any situation and earlier this year, as Elizabeth earnestly lent her heart to the country’s health-care dilemma, only she knew how bad her own health was.

This weekend, with her children and friends gathered close, word got out that her doctors now believe further treatment would be futile and, with the disease spreading to her liver and elsewhere in her body, her life is in its final stages at age 61.

But, wait, you said she beat this demon … how is that so?

Just this; on her Facebook page she wrote:

“You all know that I have been sustained throughout my life by three saving graces – my family, my friends, and a faith in the power of resilience and hope. These graces have carried me through difficult times and they have brought more joy to the good times than I ever could have imagined.

 “The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And, yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human.

“But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful.

 “It isn't possible to put into words the love and gratitude I feel to everyone who has and continues to support and inspire me every day. To you I simply say: you know."

* * *

Yes, Elizabeth, we do. We know.

iful Lady Says Goodbye 

It’s not an easy thing to do but with grace, goodness and beautiful aplomb, Elizabeth Edwards softly said goodbye Monday afternoon. Little did she know her words would bring tears to thousands … no, millions … who have watched her triumphantly vanquish each and every demon that has confronted her in an all too-public way.

Elizabeth, from her home in North Carolina, revealed yesterday her cancer, which was first diagnosed in 2004, is now in its final and fatal stages. The shallow among us will immediately cry, “Aha, there’s a demon that got her” but, no, if you’ll give me but a moment, I will share how my heart and my soul assures me this beautiful woman has just slain that dragon too.

Elizabeth is indeed beautiful. We first saw her charm, her poise and her smile at the side of her handsome husband, then a young senator from North Carolina who had been a remarkable attorney. In the all-too-plastic political realm, it was her we trusted because one time shortly after her son Wade was killed in a car accident at age 16, she was in a grocery store and the mere sight of some Cherry Coke – Wade’s favorite – caused her to weep uncontrollably.

Yes, she’s real. We’ve loved Elizabeth from the start and when the breast cancer popped up on the very same day John Kerry and her husband conceded the 2004 presidential race to the Bush camp, it was easy to believe that her chances were golden; the survival rate with early detection is now phenomenal.

But the political wrangle is hardly as successful. John, a Democratic aspirant for the White House in 2008, soon fell prey to a far more vicious disease that is every bit as lethal to men of power. At first he denied he’d had an affair, with Elizabeth standing faithful at his side, but then things began to brutally unravel and let’s just say when he finally admitted the mistress’s baby was his this January, she had already filed for divorce.

Don’t you see, this daughter of a Navy pilot had proven to be bigger than her child’s death, the political losses, and her husband’s infidelity. Through her words and a magnificent book, she had shared how we too can rise above just about any situation and earlier this year, as Elizabeth earnestly lent her heart to the country’s health-care dilemma, only she knew how bad her own health was.

This weekend, with her children and friends gathered close, word got out that her doctors now believe further treatment would be futile and, with the disease spreading to her liver and elsewhere in her body, her life is in its final stages at age 61.

But, wait, you said she beat this demon … how is that so?

Just this; on her Facebook page she wrote:

“You all know that I have been sustained throughout my life by three saving graces – my family, my friends, and a faith in the power of resilience and hope. These graces have carried me through difficult times and they have brought more joy to the good times than I ever could have imagined.

 “The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And, yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human.

“But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful.

 “It isn't possible to put into words the love and gratitude I feel to everyone who has and continues to support and inspire me every day. To you I simply say: you know."

* * *

Yes, Elizabeth, we do. We know.

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The Cleaning Woman

By Roy Exum

You know that "cleaning woman" at your house? You see them everywhere, those who clean and cook and drive car pools and get you to church. So indulge me on this Mother's Day as I tell you about one in particular, which is odd from the start because it appears no one can recall her name.

Back around 1850 the state of Massachusetts build an red-brick almshouse in Tewksbury, a tiny town in the uppermost right corner of the state. This was not just a home for pitiful paupers but you also had to be raving lunatic to be placed there. As a matter of fact, it is still a state-run psychiatric hospital today.

We are told it was in Tewksbury Hospital that one day, as a doctor toured the facility, he noticed an elderly "cleaning woman" nearby and asked her to tell him about this place where she had worked all her life. The meek woman demurred, as you might think a shy and bashful "cleaning woman" would, but the doctor was warm and kind.

Finally she said she couldn't tell him much -- because she just didn't know -- but hesitantly added, "I can show you something." The doctor followed her down to the baseman in the oldest part of the building where there were several small jail-like cells, the bars now rusty but still foreboding.

"That's where they kept Annie."

The puzzled doctor learned that right after Annie was born, her father abandoned her at Tewksbury Hospital, and that she was a terror. She almost constantly screamed and yelled and scratched and fought like such a tormented animal she was literally kept in a cage. Nobody could do anything with her and, in a mental facility before the turn of the century, she was hopelessly perched on "the lowest rung of the ladder."

That is, except for one thing. Every so often the cage had to be cleaned -- by "the cleaning lady." So in the spirit of the way that hearts and souls work, there came one particular time when "the cleaning lady" baked some brownies the night before and, after working all day, she crept down the dark steps in the quiet stillness and placed the plate just outside the lowest bars.

With a tremor in her voice, she then spoke to the animal-child for the very first time. "I brought you some brownies. I put them right here on the floor and you can come get them if you want." she said in a hasty jumble, this just before "the cleaning lady" scrambled back up the steps, running like the dickens.

 Well, as the days turned into weeks, the one they called "Annie" became somewhat attached to "the cleaning lady" because she felt kindness no matter how horribly she acted. Regardless of what Annie said or did or bit or threw, "the cleaning lady" would hastily be summoned to calm and gentle the child.

After that, when doctors needed to examine Annie they would first call "the cleaning lady" to explain things would be okay, that Annie would not be hurt. So guess what? Not long afterwards everybody at Tewksury became amazed at the transformation that was occuring in the dark, dank cell.

Annie, as it began to turn out, could talk and she seemed to have "out-grown" the monsters within her. As a matter of fact, her newfound respect earned Annie a room with less bars.

Now Annie was mostly blind but, because she could see a little and seemed to respond well to careful and meticulous teaching, she was soon transferred to another state hospital in Watertown, Mass., called the Perkins Institute for the Blind. Understand, all of this was going on about the same time as the Civil War and, if Annie's mental hospital was the bottom rung on the ladder, the blind folks in Waterford weren't much higher.

Annie excelled in spite of her tremendous odds, oh did she ever. She learned to read, to sing music, to function regardless of where she had come from. She even got her high school diploma. Then she learned how to help others, pitiful souls who were younger or whose sightless circumstances had placed them in almost as dire a straights Annie herself had overcome with only the help of "the cleaning lady."

Thus the world's center stage was set for a very fateful day in 1887 when Michael Anagnos, the center's director, received a painful plea from a man who had been a  noted Captain of the Confederacy. The letter, coming from far-away Tuscumbia, Ala.,  explained his wife was the cousin of Robert E. Lee and that they had been told that perhaps the Perkins Institute might be able to lend some knowledge to their problem, for they were desperate.

You see, they had a small child, a six-year-old, who had contacted either scarlet fever or spinal meningitis at age 18 months, and had been left both deaf and blind. The captain had already written Alexander Graham Bell, who was working with the deaf at the time, and Bell, who had patented that now-cursed device you know as the telephone only about nine years earlier, had duly suggested Perkins Institute.

So it was that Dr. Anagos, in turn, wondered if "Annie," whose last name incidentally was Sullivan, might consider helping out this family known as the Kellers with their young daughter, Helen. There is a great movie called "The Miracle Worker" that will tell you what happened next,

Helen Keller became the first deaf-blind person to graduate from college (Radcliffe) in the United States. The movie also depicts, vividly, what it was like when Annie Sullivan bravely ventured to Tuscumbia, Ala., and the Keller's famed Ivy Green Plantation, and first taught Helen, 20 years her junior, to pronounce "d-o-l-l."

All you kidding me? Helen Keller's likeness is today on the State of Alabama's commemorative quarter and Annie Sullivan, once abandoned as an animal-child in a Massachusetts almshouse, was portrayed in the movie by the glamorous Anne Bancroft. But what about "the cleaning lady?"

We do not even know the name of the woman who cleaned up the grime in those Massachusetts' cells or what possessed her to one night bake a plate of brownies. No, we don't know her name but there is this, and this indeed; we know all know a woman exactly like her.

Happy Mother's Day.

royexum@aol.com

May 9, 2010